so far so good.

lady friends

I have always considered myself blessed with the friends I have. Not any credit of my own- but by the grace of God He has always surrounded me with wonderful girlfriends who challenge me, love me and push me forward when I fall.

friends: I am here and you are there. but not really. I am here because of you- you supported me, laughed and cried with me and prayed with me. you sent me here.

some of you have made silly comments about your lives and problems being "trivial". Please stop. This is annoying. we are on this journey together...

case. in. point. of how we journey together...

i could spend many hours and days counting the thousands of ways you guys have encouraged me and supported but this is just one small story out of the many...

Last night. Last night I sent a simple email to my life group of 5 girls and Sarah asking if they could collect black shoes to send with Ashley who is coming Nov. 8th. Simple email. The kids here need black shoes to go to school and our ministry can't afford the ridiculous prices of Haiti. No shoes. No school. (if you follow this blog- you should know this- if you don't- shame on you)

One hour later I receive this...

My friend Lauren is the President of Marketing at Sotheby's (sort of) and just whipped this flyer right up, replied all and offered it to the girls to hang up the flyer in their offices. Moments later I am getting links from other girls for Payless shoes, are these okay?

Next thing I know there is a facebook notice... My inbox is filling with Facebook messages from people I don't know asking about how to send shoes.

Sarah took the email and forwarded it to about 15 of our college friends and this morning waiting in my inbox was this...

This was put up by Kristen in SYRACUSE, NEW YORK!!!!! The very next morning after my email!!

Kristen- you are amazing.

(ps if you happen to BE in syracuse- stop by arctic island- their pistachio soft serve is to die for) 

I am blessed beyond words. But more importantly the kids of Haiti are blessed by your actions. Christ gave us the gift of fellowship and community- and you ladies are a shinning example of what the church is intended to be.

I am reminded of the scene in Sex in the City when SJP speaks of her friends and says, "Wow, you guys could rule the world". Good thing we work for a Boss that actually DOES rule the world. And that He moves hearts and organizes in ways that are beyond earthly.

to be continued... this story isn't over yet.

(sneak peak: there is a woman in Texas up to her own tricks... I will fill you in soon...)

IF YOU ARE IN THE SANTA BARBARA AREA AND WANT TO DONATE BLACK SHOES FOR CHILDREN AGES 5-18 CONTACT: her, her or her.

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin 

1 John 1:7 

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ 

Galatians 6:2 

broken car

What to do when your car breaks down?

(for the second week in a row)




Oh the Haitian way, you hit it with a rock.

Or you let a Haitian hit it with a rock

or you just look cute. 

or look angry. 

or you take a nap on the sidewalk. 

or you call for help. 

or you just send the boys to fix it...

or you pray over the car. 

Victory! 

Victory! 

...and we're off... until the next car episode...

Church and Cholera

Haitian Church

Attended Haitian Church today as opposed to the American church we normally attend. Brooke used to care for a neighborhood woman dying of breast cancer and she eventually lost the fight. Brooke became close with the family over the year and they invited us to church with them. (isn't Brooke a rockstar? You can follow her here)

I thoroughly enjoyed all THREE HOURS of the OUTDOOR Haitian service IN CREOLE.  I especially enjoyed having to stand, not once but twice in front of the congregation and THEN being called to the front to speak about ourselves. Not surprisingly, it isn't scary to public speak when no one understands any English. With my sudden boldness, I refrained from the temptation to grab the mic and teach them Blessed be the Name of the Lord in English. Next time.

Haitians when they pray: Put their arms over their head and wave their hands in the air- like they are waving their best friend over to come sit next to them (which literally I guess that is what you are doing when you pray). You try....

Speaking of prayer...

CHOLERA: Thank you all for your concern and emails. The cholera has yet to hit P-A-P (only 5 contained cases).

Please keep praying.

If it does happen to hit P-A-P it will be extremely devastating to those who have already lost and suffered so much. This town is terrified. Absolutely terrified. It is all anyone can talk about. We heard about it at church, at lunch, on the streets. Our children here are scared but they are mostly scared for their families who are still living in tents- no access to clean water. I was told today that the tent city around the corner from my home holds 5,000 earthquake victims. That is only ONE tent city. I can't imagine how fast the disease would rip through the tents.

Keep praying.

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

—John 14:13-14  

snip-its of a Saturday hike... 

(so sorry I don't have Hipstamatic or Lightroom- but you'll get the idea) 

Save the Whales? 

Meadth Family photo

We were hiking to Montcel- How far is it? 

We all enjoyed the view- even him. 

View from back of the truck. I was trying to capture the mud on my shoes but apparently I captured a man whistling at us. 

Yes, this is how we travel in Haiti. Sorry Mom. 

Didn't I tell you the driving here was crazy? 

Safety first. Yes, baby Asher is in that stroller. Don't worry he is buckled in. 

Again, I am perfecting the art of balancing large quantities on my head. 

Please take note of the Haitians enthralled with a white baby.  

latfh

Hipsta Chad- This would be your Haitian child. 

not the Haiti i am used to

Local restaurant - we did not eat there. 

Yes, they are carrying a casket. and they were dancing and singing. quite a sight. 

I was feeling quite svelte and robust until small children pass me, uphill carrying a weeks worth of food on their heads.

Enjoying the view from our lunch spot. Our lunch spot being Haitians that saw us on the road and invited us over to their beautiful home for lunch. Lesson #537 I will learn from Haitians- hospitality. 

superiority

I was told that when people go to Haiti, their sin "pops out". If there is sin some where in your heart it boils up to the surface in Haiti. This scared me. What is going to jump out of my mouth and be revealed to all those around me? yikes!

Haiti is raw and pure. You are cut down the bare minimum. Not much confusion- just the have and the have nots.

Well this week I got a taste of it and it was bitter (haha that sentence makes me laugh- cheesy kaitlyn). But really. I came to Haiti because God called me to serve His people. Feed the hungry and clothe the naked. But, I am still a work in progress. A BIG work in progress.

Being a "blanc" (white) I get stared at, treated differently and elevated. Most likely anyone reading this blog would be treated the same way. If you have a computer, the same would happen to you. (not because of the computer- but because you have enough money to OWN a computer) And I accept being treated differently. I eat well, sleep behind a guard and am awarded privileges just because of the color of my skin. It is difficult NOT to live within these privileges.

It is hard to ignore the "us and them". Haitians vs. angel americans that sweep in to save the world.  I am fed lies all day long- you are better than them, you deserve the food you are eating, you know better than them. Lies from the enemy.

I would fight you to the ground if you ever called me racist. A racist with all its horrible connotations. But sin hides itself in dark corners where you never thought it existed... and it doesn't come out on Sunday mornings or when things are happy and peaceful. It bubbles out when times are hard and you are cut down to the raw blackness of your heart. When you are frustrated, distraught, tired, fed-up and broken... it seeps out and you want to hide it so no one else will ever see. (yet- I post mine to the world wide web- go figure) Lies that have been fed creep out in your thoughts, I am better than you, I am more educated, I am rich. ewwwww gross. How did that get into my thoughts? Cleanse me of those horrible lies.

I pray that Christ wipes away all the lies that have been told between cultures.

Blessed are the poor in spirit.

Skype

Got to Skype with Lisa's youth group last night. 

Thank you guys for your prayers and making me feel so special! 

Gotta love Montecito Covenant. 

And this one just booked a ticket... Nov. 8th... Boom. Haiti just classed it up a notch. 

Any other takers? You know you want to...

Driving

I can not describe driving in Haiti.

I will never forget the feelings and emotions I had jumping off the plane at Port-Au-Prince airport, getting in a pickup truck and driving through the streets of Haiti. Like nothing I have ever seen before. People crammed on top of cars, into cars, hanging out of cars. And these are roads? I call these hiking trails! To call them 'dirt roads' would imply that they resemble any notion one may have of a road.

Pot holes the size of a Honda Fiat. Rocks, Boulders, Rubble obstructing. People crowding streets. Diesel inhalation. Black pollution covering your pores. Children running up to wash your windows. Traffic laws non existent.

And the cars here- Not one car here would be even CLOSE to passing ANY inspection in the United States. I think the cars here have failed Americans so we shipped them off to Mexico where they were driven into the ground and died. Buried in Mexico and magically, ta-dah! resurrected in Haiti.

We own three trucks at the orphanage- One massive big truck with a CAGE in the back of it. A literal CAGE that we use to transport all fifty kids if needed- quite comical. It reminds me of one those old movies where the bad guy collects little children in it. And we own two other trucks- we get a daily report of the condition of each - which truck is working today? Cracks down the windshield. Overheating. Door handles that come off in your hand. Doors that don't work. And many other mechanical terms that mean nothing to me breaking.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not being critical. This is the beauty, quirkiness and excitement of Haiti. It is things like this that make this place fascinating.

Sunday I was invited to a little outing. And obvi I jumped right on that option- seeing as I don't get out much! We drove about 45 mins to our pastors house for lunch. Wonderful time. On the way home, the car started overheating. Brittany and Rod had borrowed this car from the local Christian school- a fairly good car in Haitian standards. Pickup truck with cab, A/C that worked intermittently, a starter that works after 9 tries- $9,000! Cars are expensive, just like everything else here.

So our drive home consisted of drive two minutes- pull over for ten minutes. Drive two minutes- pull over for ten minutes.  Amongst the giggles and adventure Rod decided that it would be easier to put the car in neutral on the hills. So there we are boggling and rumbling down the rocky "roads" on neutral. Rod, in his authentic Aussie accent finally admits, "I don't have much in the way of breaks right now". Classic. Classic Haiti. We finally skidded safe and sound to a stop in front of the orphanage. Disney world should name a rollercoaster- Princess Rumble Ride in Haiti. 

 Brittany and Rod pulled over on the side of the road for the umpteenth time. 

Lucas mastering his first driving attempt

Usual Suspect. 

Gatekeeper

Who do I help?

Everyday outside of my gate I am greeted with, I'm hungry.

Well, Good morning to you too.

Also gathered are a few different people waiting patiently for Mr. Bill. Mr. Bill is our director and MDL is known to help out the community in many different ways so therefore they wait for him to ask for different needs to be met. From time to time, Mr. Bill has to exit through the guard tower to avoid the crowd or sneak into places. There is always a line of people waiting to talk to him.

Today I tried to help. I thought if I could organize these people into needs and see if I could pinpoint specifically what they wanted it would save a lot of  hassle for Mr. Bill. I would set-up meeting times for the dire situations and  have every scenario already translated for him. Wow, I am such a problem solver. I started with a sweet old man. After finding a proper translator, I got down to business. Notepad and all.

Name: He wrote "Mama" down on the sheet. I quickly figured out he was illiterate and couldn't spell his own name.
Reason for coming: Bricks fell on his mother's legs
Need: $50 to bring her to the hospital (about $7 US)

Hmmm. Tricky one. I can't just give him the money because I would quickly go broke if I gave everyone outside our gates $7 and so would our ministry. (and not to mention a bunch of other reasons: beggars mindset, helping that hurts, safety of a white girl handing out cash, all the others that would come when they hear we give out cash).

I look around for a driver to take his mother to the hospital. No such luck.

Ah-ha! We have a doctor in the house! I go grab a doctor staying with us and introduce him to the sweet old man and the doctor agrees to go walk with him to his mothers house. Problem solved. This charity stuff is easy! All in a days work... Those MacGyver shows really paid off...!

Well then the story starts changing... he needs to bring her to a specific hospital, the bricks fell on her legs 9 months ago (earthquake), he actually needs to bring her to family to take care of her, he doesn't even need the doctor, etc....

Well now thirty minutes have gone by after all the running around, I am standing in hot sun, the  language barrier is really starting to tick me off and I am sad and frustrated at the same time. Is this man lying to me? Does he even have a mother? He just wants the money. Can you blame him?

The end of the story: I walked away.

I am not proud of walking away. But I am confused what to do? I hear stories like this EVERY day. Most of them are actually true. Do I walk around handing out $20s to everyone? I can't do that nor do I really think it is the right thing to do.

This episode sparked a long vent session with (saint) Cindy. I needed to unload my confusion, frustration and guilt. There is such great need staring me in the face yet I am overwhelmed because I can't pick which need to help.

Cindy shared a story of a boy in our feeding program who was wearing pants 3 sizes too big that kept falling down and he wasn't wearing any underwear. Cindy spent a good amount of time searching through our orphanage clothes until she found an extra pair of underwear. The next day the boy showed up not wearing underwear again. We suspected the mom sold them as soon as he brought them home. Wouldn't you if it could put rice on the table? The need never stops.

She also shared about giving a man a bottle of Nyquil because he was claiming to be sick. She quickly got scolded by the nurse because the man could turn around and sell that bottle to a mom on the street with a sick baby. The man needs to make money but babies can't have Nyquil. Neither the man nor the mom can read the bottle.

Talking it over with Cindy I came to a simple thought that cleared my head for the moment: When I get to heaven Jesus is not going to ask me how much money I gave, He is going to ask me how well I loved.

All I can do is follow the greatest commandment of love your neighbor as yourself. Mark 12:31

So that is my story and I am sticking to it. Just love. (at least for today. My perspectives change daily down here)

The men in my life

EXCITED for these fine gentlemen to join me in the GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY of Haiti.

Coming Nov. 13th

Coming Nov. 24th 

Looking forward to these noble characters making an impact in Haiti. 

if only this guy was joining...

(he is busy getting an engineering degree, applying for a bio medical masters and making wheelchairs) 

Education and Clothes

yes, clothes broke my heart once again. I guess we know what gets to me. Wanna make me cry? Walk by wearing threads for a dress.

Education: School started this week for our orphanage kids. Since the earthquake, school has been disorganized  in Haiti- hence it starting in October. After the earthquake, MDL (our orphanage) put together their own school so they could continue educating their children. Haitian schools didn't go back into session until April after the January 12 catastrophe.

I believe in education. You need it. You need it to problem solve. You need it to function in society and have common sense.  My mom always said, education is the one thing no one can take away from you. (that and your salvation- but I think she meant that too, right Mom?)

I stood on Monday watching these cute kids participate in their first day of school. My parents have my first day of Kindergarten on video tape- my mom cried and then followed my bus to school. Our school is for MDL kids but we have also opened it up to staff children or what we refer to as "street children". Children that live in local tents but are always hanging around our street. These 8, 9, 10 yr-olds were experiencing their FIRST day of school. Now let's take it back a step... think about the lack of development these children have already suffered due to malnutrition and attention as baby. Haitian moms (also uneducated) don't know the basics of playing with a child and practicing motor skills. They are left to sit on the ground for the first 5 years of their life. Babies here are lifeless. Why? Because they don't eat properly and they have no toys. I think we all have taken building blocks for granted. Who knew the great development lessons we were learning when fitting the round peg into the round hole.

Some of you know, I am a huge supporter of sustainability. Education is sustainable. I have said from the beginning I didn't want to travel with an aid organization but with an organization that focused on development. The reason being, aid only lasts as long as some church or US organization choses to support funding. At MDL, they focus on creating disciples of Christ and strong individuals to release into the Haitian society. We make a difference starting from a young generation. The children here are not up for adoption because we believe in helping Haiti by raising spiritual leaders and nobel citizens for the future. We are currently teaching our older children trades and helping them start micro businesses. We are teaching various children how to sow, construct, raise animals, sell cellphones and other businesses. We also educate them on their finances and how to run their business. With an 85% unemployment rate- this is a crucial step in development. Let me say that again, 85% unemployment. 

After being here a month and observing the "transition program", our program that transitions them from orphans to active members of the community, I have noticed a crucial missing step... education. We can try to  teach them all we know about business and give them as much capital as they need but there are basic fundamentals missing. Fundamentals that start at a very, very young age. 

I sat with a 19 yr-old yesterday who is going through our transition program. We are trying to work with him to create a small construction business. I sat and watched him attempt to complete a puzzle. A children's puzzle. He had no idea how to put the pieces together. And once explained, could not figure it out. Other children in our transition program came to the orphanage at the age of 12 or 13 and currently (at the age of 18) have the education of a 3rd grader.

How does a 18yr old have the education of a 3rd grader? School here is expensive! No such thing as public schooling. You don't have money to go to school... you don't go. Private school consists of tuition, books and a very rigorous dress code.

Here is where clothes come in: Every school in Haiti has a strict dress code. Matching uniform, girls have to wear white bows, every child in dark jeans and black shoes. And this is a pretty simple uniform compared to other schools. At a staff meeting, we were informed that every child needed to have black shoes (at $50- $100 US a pop!) or they couldn't come to school. Why? Because we will not get accredited as a school if the children aren't matching. It reflects discipline. The American staff here was appalled but we chalked it up to a Haitian culture thing we couldn't understand. Quite honestly, Haitians are BEAUTIFUL, dignified and graceful. I envy the culture sometimes. Our cooks always change their outfits before walking home at night and people are always dressed to high heavens. Even if that happens to be the only clothes they own. In one way, I appreciate it. 

 Yet, I stood outside the gates of the school watching sweet children get turned away from the classrooms because of lack of funding or not having black shoes. "Sorry you can't come in because your parents cannot afford shoes." About 15 children missed the first day of school due to lack of uniform. And that is where fashion, yet again, broke my heart.

gunshots

Climbing into bed after successfully shaving my legs (you laugh, but quite a feat with limited cold water), using my laptop through our wireless internet and falling asleep peacefully- I almost forgot I was in Haiti.

Until I wake up in the middle of the night to, "Kaitlyn, they're shooting!" Reality check.

(let me interrupt this story to say everything turned out fine in the morning)

Being woken up and hearing gunshots all around makes your blood run cold. We both heard gunshots in the distance, then someone outside our window and then a gunshot that sounded like it was right outside. So what does one do when in fear? Hide in the bathroom! Why do people always run into bathrooms when they are scared?

Brooke and I, after sheer panic released it's grip on us, laughed at ourselves cuddled up on the floor of our bathroom and assessed the situation. In all reality, we sleep behind about 3 steel doors with locks and deadbolts and steel over our windows- there is no way anyone was getting to us. But if they did get through the steel doors, I don't know why we thought our bathroom was impenetrable?

We ran over to a couple who was staying in the room next to us (their second night in Haiti) and assessed who had heard what? We had some good laughs over what we did in the moment of fear... Brooke and I hide in the bathroom, Lucas and Alicia had dropped to the ground- Lucas, of course grabbed his computer on the way down to the floor. Why? Are you going to email someone, help!? Alicia had gotten fully dressed and put running shoes by the door. They must have been boy/girl scouts because they were fully prepared.

Finally we cracked our front door open and shouted for the guard- He told us everything was fine and to go back to bed- yea right. It was just our guards shooting in the air at men standing too close to our gates.

Mom, Dad, people who act and love me like a Mom + Dad, I truly am safe. We have 16ft walls with razor wire around the top and two armed guards that patrol all night long. Brooke and a sweet woman Cindy are the only ones that have the key to our house. The noise outside our window was our caretaker running by to see what was happening. Brooke and I actually got laughed at the next morning by all the Haitians- gunshots? you got scared of gunshots? Welcome to Haiti. Our Haitian children actually slept through the whole event. Those of you that don't need to sleep behind an armed guard (like my last 24 yrs) realize how scary this would be. But to some, this is normal. And I guess the only way to deal with it is to laugh.

In all seriousness and lightness aside, I am lucky to sleep in such safe quarters but others don't. This is reality. reality. Others don't have guards that keep them safe at night. Something has to be done in the country. Something has to be done to get people out of tents and behind 16ft walls with guards. But what?

missionaries

Throw away any preconceived notions of missionaries being those outdated photos that hung on your church bulletin. Unattainable, Unreachable, Unrelatable. I have found ones that are true beauts.

Bill and Susette moved here in 2004 when they heard that a child molester was running the current orphanage I sit in. After a call from God, they moved their two (beautiful) daughters and son here in order to save these boys.  Now, the orphanage has grown into over 50 orphans, a school and a clinic. Intimidating people right? How will I ever relate with these A+ Christians?

Well, let me tell you... these people are real. They have seen it all. They have been attacked, tear gassed, betrayed, robbed and survived cancer. Yet they laugh, share their struggles, are sarcastic, open up their arms and home, take us shopping and giggle with us about boys.

They have to be cool to be bff's with Soledad O'Brien 

Celebrating Vienna's Birthday

Aren't they pretty? 

Girls Night Out

Girls Night Out

Finally the night arrived. 

Got all gussied up and hopped out on the town. 

yours truly, Cindy, Erta and Brooke

Went to a benefit dinner at Hotel Caribe that featured the Gospel Kreyol Choir.

Speaking of Gospel Choir- this was your Soul Rocking, Tyler Perry, dancing in the isles, white girls don't belong, Hallelujah Jesus-Heaven have Mercy type Choir.

Let's just say I got the full Haitian cultural experience. ALL three.and.a.half.hours of it.

Also, cultural note to self: "Gussied up" means something different in Haitian. For me that meant showering and changing out of sweat ridden gear. Yet, I noticed dirt still caked on my feet half-way through dinner. I do not think the Haitian women in evening dresses and heels appreciated this.

Oh well, chalk it up to a social faux pas...

All in all a wonderful experience and great evening. 

Juxtaposition

 I have thought of renaming this blog to Juxtaposition, Dichotomous, Tale of two cities or Opposites attract. The emphasis on the vast difference of where I was two months ago. Serving the richest of rich at Tiffany & Co. in one of the world's most expensive zip codes to serving the poorest of the poor in one of the poorest zip codes in the world.

Also, those titles encompass my feelings towards Haiti. One part of my heart loves Haiti- the oddities, the nuances, the irregularity and the intrigue. Some days I think, how could I ever leave? The pace of life is slow, my stress is minimal and the people are full of life. The other part of me wants to throw up all over it.

Santa Barbara

  

Haiti
Note: before I moved here I thought "tent city" was referring to one place, maybe two. Tent City is referring to all of Port-Au-Prince- it is covered in tents. 

my old co-workers

my new co-workers

previous roommate

new roommate. no juxtaposition here- both are fabulous.


Conclusion: I love both places. Just like I love Massachusetts and California. Just like you love Jennifer and Angelina. Just like I am Mexican and Irish. Just like Sarah calls me a introverted extrovert.