Fall

I love Fall. Especially October. The colors, the crisp smell, the fashion and the pumpkin spiced lattes. I usually take time to celebrate October 1st- whip out the apple cider, candied apples, throw on a scarf and have good intentions of carving a pumpkin. 

Tomorrow I am going to attempt to "layer" my outfit. Maybe create a scarf out of an old shirt... throw on some Frye boots and tights (heck no). 

And to substitute for the pumpkin spiced latte....

Happy October! 

musing. pondering. wondering.

musing. pondering. wondering. 

I near my one month anniversary in Haiti and I have some thoughts...

not complete thoughts. 

please feel free to add comments to these thoughts because I would like to know the answers to some. 

homeless. 

We came across this below family "squatting" on some land Child Hope is hoping to build upon. Very normal to "squat" in Haiti as there are many abandoned buildings. This family has the advantage of sleeping behind a steel gate to keep them safe at night as opposed to the million living in tent cities.  We came across these kids and I almost didn't think twice about this family that pitched a tent on our land. Didn't think twice! Why? Because there are 100,00 more like them right next door? 

If I walked into my Chelmsford residence and saw that a family of five has pitched a tent in my front yard... mother and father killed in earthquake and left five children. You can bet your bottom dollar I would invite those kids into my home, feed them a good meal, watch High School Musical and say, "Mom, can I keep them?" 

But do I not do the same here because I can't help them ALL? 

house fell on mother and father in quake- five children left.

their tent

I asked what the white "dust" was covering their bodies. I am told some form of fungus that could be cured by a few good showers. 

the inside of their tent

outside of tent

compassion. 

I moved to Haiti because God broke my heart for this nation. Yet, I can feel so distance from these people. I am sitting next to them, holding them and playing. But the difference of the situations we are in are vast- if I want to leave Haiti- all I have to do is make a phone call. If I break my leg and have to go to the hospital, guess what? The white girl will probably get pushed to the top of the waiting list. How do you encourage those when I can not relate? 

humbled. 

most days I walk out my gate and am instantly surrounded by children. Most of them sweet and lovely and wrap their arms around me. Some though- become aggressive. Not in a scary way- but annoying way. I hear, "Give me, Give me" and the tugging on the arm just becomes a little too rough. My patience wears thin and I disappear behind the gate again. frustrated. God humbles me every day here. frustrated with children who don't know any better? frustrated with desperation? I am humbled. 

 construction. 

I have not seen one construction vehicle. Not one! I will admit, I don't get out much. But, there is an obvious lack of ANY rebuilding. Ask the one million that are still homeless nine months after the quake. Blame the US government- yes, I get it. The money pledged by the US is still held up. Blame the Haitian government- yes, they are just useless and evil. But what about all the money we donated to NGO's? Did all that go to relief? I have asked many this question and I have yet to get an answer. Would love to hear more thoughts. 

I don't get out much. 

I really don't! This is probably music to my parents ears. No car. No public transportation (that I have the nerves to travel on). A casual walk to the market- doesn't tend to be casual. Cindy (the nanny to the 12 youngest boys- aka SAINT) has planned a "Girls Night Out" on Sunday and bought Brooke and I tickets to a concert. I can not contain my excitement. What should I wear?!? I'm actually going to shower for this event! 

storm

my neighbor giving birth

so there I was. taking a picture of my neighbor's newest baby- only minutes old. (the goat) And thinking to myself, "oh this is exciting, blog worthy!"

we are about 300 yards from my gate- in about 30 seconds the sky turns black, thunder starts cracking and dirt is stinging my eyes. in the 300 yards to get back to my gate it has already started pouring rain and the noises began....

i could hear winds whistling, trees falling, power lines collapsing, steel falling onto of steel, screaming, crying. The air formed a thick blanket. 

30 children start running past, holding each others hands and crying. At this moment, I realized what this storm meant- heavy rains and high winds means no more tent. 

the children, were screaming "Earthquake" as they ran past us crying- they were running to see if their families were still at their tents. It wasn't an earthquake- but probably the word they relate with natural disaster. I heard later that the tent city around the corner from our house collapsed in about 5 minutes. 

it is hard to describe the chaos and emotions in the  five minutes that followed. This was a pretty bad storm.  But, at my Chelmsford residence we probably would have collected the outside furniture and gone inside. When I was little, my Dad and I would sit on the porch and count the seconds of the storm. Somehow this made me less scared. Maybe a few branches would hit the house. Here, this storm means something different. 

First, I watched the utter confusion on the Haitian's faces as they were terrified to go under any roof yet it was unsafe to be standing outside as well. I had to pull our Haitian cooks inside because they just didn't know where to go. We stood under the little awning listening to trees hit the house and power lines fall. The pure terror on the cooks faces made tears come to my eyes. One cook was literally trembling with fear. 

I could hear the girl's crying so I ran next door to comfort them. Upon entering the gate I saw the most terrified little faces shivering with fear. Their bodies shook with emotions. The kids were fearful but the heartbreaking part was the cooks, maids and nannies that stood there with us. Their eyes were filled with distress and they held children and cried out prayers. Were their homes washed away? 

We waited out the storm and then started cleaning up the pieces. Some of our staff went down to help start rebuilding the tents yet I just felt lost. I watched the scramble of locals hitch rides to bring them "home". Tonight we are exhausted with emotions.  Staff members are still busy trying to find places for friends to sleep that lost tents. 

I am grateful that everyone at the orphanage is safe. But, I am thinking about all those little bodies going to bed in mud tonight. 

waiting out the storm

fallen tree on our truck

Haitians run to stake claim on fallen branches to rebuild their tents. First time I have ever seen a machete. 

my apologies for being absent the past few days. I have been on the 'Haitian diet plan'. Not to worry, Nurse Brooke took good care of me and nursed me back to health. I don't really know if it was something I ate but I now feel officially initiated into Haiti!

Thought I would share some photos...

(please enjoy these because they took about 4 hours to load)

neighborhood shop- I am told it is a welding shop. (ironic?)

I want to be this woman- she has her hand on the bucket holding a pile of sticks in the picture but she walked the whole street balancing it on her head. People walk all over town like this! Done selling for the day? Pile your shop on top of your head and walk home. It doesn't look that hard... I haven't seen anyone drop anything. I am going to practice the art. Just you wait, I am coming out of Logan airport with my suitcase balanced perfectly on my head.

classic white girl with child photo.
but i have fallen in love with this one- she may be balanced on the top of my head while exiting Logan airport as well...



oh just me and tara enjoying a sunset.
What a nice 'Haitian glow' you have! It is sweat.
Always sweat.



more feeding program kiddies.



Oh just your average trip to the market.



Water is sold in bags here. this little one has a bacterial infection all over his face. something a simple antibiotic would clear up- no money for such a thing.

add your own caption.

I know, I know. EVERYTHING has Jesus written on it here. Almost every car, truck and tap-tap (mix between a bus and taxi) has 'Merci Jesus' written on it. I will try to take more pictures but usually I am holding on for dear life while driving- the moment is not opportune for a photo.

My new neighbors. I am getting used to goats roaming the lands (and chickens, dogs and the occassional rats). Who owns the goats? I am told, try to steal one and you will find out.

how can we help?

i am graced by the many emails and requests to "do something" and send clothes for the girls. Thoughts and gestures like this give me encouragement and remind me of all the great souls cheering for this orphanage in the US. It is blatantly clear that this world can not forget about Haiti.

so in response- unfortunately shipping to Haiti can be difficult. There is a large chance the package will never arrive or get held in customs for months. So if you would like to send clothes please buy a plane ticket and fly them down here. =) ooorrrrr you can go to our website www.childhope.org and make a direct donation there. If you go under general donation you can put whatever you would like the donation to go towards; girls clothes, boys clothes, Christmas gifts, education, vegetables (also a great need).

if you let me know what you have selected- I can probably personally follow up and send you pictures of the experience. Also, using the money to give to street vendors and business owners in Haiti helps the vendors provide for their family as well.

thank you all.

and yes, I will probably give you all a child to sponsor for Christmas this year. get excited.

my project

Guess how old she is? Did you guess 2 yrs? She is 2 but her birth certificate says she is 3.

She got into some stickers.


Trash in the streets.

Neighborhood kids.

my biggest overarching project these past 2 weeks has been collecting information and creating a MASSIVE application for an official orphanage license from the government. You can function without one (like this orphanage has been for the past 6 yrs) but gaining this license provides more cooperation with the government. And I can see why it has taken so long! Just creating this application could be a full time job.

So I hunkered down determined to get this application done by the time I leave in December...

Task 1 (out of about 100): Collect childs information and collect the information of a relative. Basically we need someone to sign a paper saying that they authorize the child to be in our custody. Easy, right?

Well, the first step to collecting this information would be their birth certificate. So I pull out the first birth certificate- born in December 2007- but I am clearly looking at a 5-6 yr old girl? I ask the Director about this oddity? Come to find out that most of the kids don't know their birthdates because they were just dropped off here and they had to buy birth certificates later. Some of them can have errors due to oversight.

Next, I am to find out mother and father's name, which I can find on most birth certificates. But more importantly, are they alive or dead? Picture this: My first day on the job I go around to each child, bend down and say, Sweetie do you know if your mom is alive or passed away? Most kids know the answer... some do not.

But these kids are orphans? Aren't all their parents passed away? No- about half of them do have a parent living but can not afford to keep them so their only hope is to give them to the orphanage. In that case, I must label them on the official form: Abandoned.

if the child is actually abandoned I must give an explanation as to where the parent is and if they are able to testify that they actually did abandon the child. So I sit there and write official things such as: "child's parent sold them to slave labor for $10" "child's parent dropped them off in the middle of gang-infested territory to die. Her aunt saved her and brought her to the orphanage." "Father dropped child off 5 years ago and has not been back to visit since." "Child was found begging in streets- parents visit once a year."

For those that do have known relatives I need an address, phone number and ID #. Simple task, right? So far, only ONE relative has given me an actual address- WITH NUMBERS. All the other "addresses" consist of a street name or area. Most people do not have phones. Hardly anyone has any form of ID.

Next, if I can not call these relatives on the phone I am to go find them. Yesterday I am with a 14 yr-old girl on the crowded streets of Port-Au-Prince, climbing over piles and piles of trash saying, Is that your mom? Is that your mom? (who am I? Oprah?!) We did not find her.

It is hard to wrap my brain around all of this but the real shocker of it all: The kids.

These kids are amazing. What they have been through and who they are is astounding. I have yet to figure out how they do it. They are loving and kind. They cuddle up next to you and give you sweet kisses on the cheek. They dance to Justin Bieber. They treat each other kindly. They praise God with every inch of their being. They laugh, they play.

I am starting to realize I would be a fool to think I could ever teach them or heal them in any way... they are the ones teaching and healing me.

Please get on your knees tonight and thank God for these beautiful children.

Haitian Vacation Spa

All this service work can be hard and sometimes I need to take time to pamper myself. So I have created an easy do-it-yourself spa. I call it... The Haitian Vacation Spa. All it takes is 10 simple steps...

Step 1: Cleanse- Wake up early with a slight mist of micro sweat beads on brow. or if you are like me the mist will collect on your upper lip.

Step 2: Relax under state of the art, European technology cooling fan.

Step 3: Treat your pores to a cold shower.

Step 4: Exfoliate- Cover your skin in DEET. This will also help prevent those red bumps that cover your body.

Step 5: After DEET soaks in, rub off first layer of skin. Burning sensation is normal

Step 6: Optional: Apply a light layer of make-up for that extra glow

Step 7: Sweat make-up off

Step 8: Mud bath- or just take a walk. let dirt soak into pours and every crevice. For best results sit in the sun

Step 9: Sweat dirt off

Step 10: Resume 2nd shower of the day

Repeat steps 1-10 the following day

Hope you enjoyed these quick, easy steps to your at home spa! If followed correctly it will leave you with a beautiful Haitian glow! Tune in soon for some of my dieting tips.

And as always, wear sunscreen!

Enjoy! =)

What broke my heart today: Clothes.

Okay, okay. Don't call me materialistic but this really hit home today. When I decided to come to Haiti, I sold a large majority of my clothes and stayed true (almost) to my vow of not buying one article of clothing from May-September. Big whoop, Kaitlyn. Not a big deal- but put things in perspective.

So far I have seen my fair share of orange-haired children, corruption and tent city after city. But today Brooke took on the challenge of fitting the older orphanage girls (13yrs-18yrs) into the donated clothes. I watched and truly started feeling sad for these sweet girls as they picked through piles of ugly clothes Americans don't want anymore. Worn t-shirts, unflattering dresses and odd fitting jeans. Most of them need pants and shirts and they are forced into wearing clothes that are too small/big and mismatched. Have you ever tried to fit 11 teenage girls into hand me down bras? Brooke you are a saint.

Then after the clothing was sorted the fighting and whining begins about who got what. You have a sister? Imagine fighting over clothes with 11 sisters and then going back to your room you share with those 11 sisters and put your 2 new shirts away into your one little drawer with all your belongings.

I have seen dirty children on the street and women walking around with shirts that read, "Johnny loves Miranda" - clearly a donated item from the US. But these girls are girls that I have started to love and their sweet spirits that give me genuine hugs before bed, grab my head and start braiding my hair into corn rows (gross I know) or ask, you have a mom AND a dad??

Come on ladies... We all the know the feeling of buying a brand new outfit, putting it together with some bomb shoes and KNOW you are looking fly. You leave the house feeling like a million bucks and feel like every girl is looking at you with envy. Then finally a girl complements you on your new buy (cause we all know girls dress for girls) and you act like, this old thing? when reallllly you know J. Simps just wore this same outfit last week (my former fashion icon). I completely know the thrill of wearing new threads you found on sale... and if you claim you don't, you're lying. Style creates identity.

I am aware that these girls are lucky to have roof over their head and 3 meals a day. Luckier than the hundreds of kids that die every day outside their walls. I know that they deal with larger demons than clothes. I know that they will grow out of the insecure image-crisis and become strong women of faith. I know that each are beautiful created in His image. I know that knowing the Father in Heaven and His salvation is a trillion times more important than having to wear pajamas as a cute top. I know that they will all find true style within Christ. But I know what it feels like to be a teenage girl. For now and for these girls this is the reality of a teenage orphan. And today, as small as it was, pulled at my heart strings.

...which made me start going through my clothes to create an outfit for them... I know, not the best lesson in discipline. Give something to one of them, they all want something... but discipline can be tomorrow's lesson.

Haitian Amputees

Haitian National Amputee Soccer Team:

"When I lost my limbs in the earthquake I thought my life was over. But God helped me and now that I am playing soccer and working with great coaches. I have much hope for the future." - Cesar, Goalie

We had the opportunity to go watch the Haitian Amputee Soccer Team play today. After the earthquake, a missionary team moved down to Haiti to assist earthquake victims and organized the team along with International Institute of Sport.

Watching these mens hearts and spirit today was inspirational and I am sure it gives pride to the local Haitians that have endured many hardships.

Because this team was formed after the earthquake they have never had the chance to qualify for the world cup but they have been invited to compete this year. Sadly, they cannot afford to go. If you want to donate to help this team compete in the world cup go to www.iisport.org

manners

Brooke and I taught the older girls table manners today. Let's just say they now know how to have dinner with the President, shake web-to-web, ask appropriate questions on a date and to set a proper table. Mom, Dad- you will be proud to know I taught them to keep their elbows off the table.

I decided I will save my "love is a battlefield" lecture for lesson #2. Many have benefited from that lesson, right?

I also had my first Kreyol lesson today- Eske yo pa diw mwen seyon bon eliv? Efo map fe poum pale Kreyol.

similarities

I was reflecting on the similarities of my life here and my life in Santa Barbara... there are obvious differences (such as, my current 'shower' consists of a bucket over my head), but many similarities.

• my current position is VERY akin to my position at Tiffany, minus the suit and heels. Today consisted of payroll, paperwork, organization and working with children... just kidding- I mean I work with amazing people just like I did at TCO! also, great security guards- just like TCO. fabulous organization- just like TCO
• kind, sweet roommate
• great weather (except it rains more here- check plus for Haiti)
• spilled coffee every morning
• still check facebook more than i should
• constantly meet bostonians at every turn and our talk turns to Red Sox

I embrace the similarities but also welcome the change.

my friend Jon, Sarah's fiancee, has a phrase, "oh that's a first world problem." I love that phrase. for example, when a Tiffany customer would yell at me because her daughter's bracelet broke- first world problem. my car broke down on the way to my vacation- first world problem. not to belittle these problems but this phrase has a whole new bite to it.

change of subject: fasting

i found out that a group of people back home are fasting for me once a week. thank you for your prayers and thoughtfullness. i am grateful. read the section in "bittersweet" about fasting...

Arrived in Haiti safe and sound! I immediately fell in love with this land and instantly knew why I felt Haiti so heavy on my heart these past months. I am continually impressed with multiple aspects; I feel extraordinarily safe, the staff is genuine, the kids are sweet and well-mannered and the organization is doing amazing things in the most Christ-like manner. I do apologize that these pictures do not give an accurate portrait of what I have been seeing and doing but that will come later. These first few days I have just been mentally compressing. Enjoy! More to come!

Friends and Family: WARNING be prepared to be recruited down here in the near future.

neighborhood child

One of the many Wyclef Jean tags

children in the feeding program

sweet nurse Brooke in her clinic

what i call home

Vegetables, Steak and Chocolate Ice Cream.

what I did last night:

• ate the largest salad of all time
• took a long, hot shower
• devoured massive amounts of chocolate ice-cream
• dance party in my room to hip-hop
• prayed
• made my parents run every little errand with me
• packed a bag full of children's vitamins, used running shoes, chocolate chips and pink nail polish (all requested by the orphanage)

overall, i am feeling EXCITED! i am ready to get this show on the road! Heaven knows there has been times of fear and uncertainty- but at this point i am trusting Him and ready.

Next post will be from Haiti!

i travel in style.

2 great organizations

Faith & Fortune
So We Run

entering the non-profit world has been an eye-opening experience. it has been a beautiful journey of watching passion and individuals working together for a greater cause.

Two great organizations I have run into recently...

1. Faith & Fortune- http://www.faithfortune.com/

generously donated a new outfit for me to sport. Jason Revilla, my newest in-law, has great passion for high-end retail with a responsibility to the community sewn in. if you want sweet threads with a greater motive, you know where to shop... we can be twins.

2. So We Run- http://sowerun.org/

these great Gordon-grads helped out tonight when i contacted them last minute asking for shoes for the orphanage. since their mission is to gift used shoes they were a perfect fit... my favorites were the clear converse kick backs... maybe I will wear those myself.

thanks guys!