musing. pondering. wondering.

musing. pondering. wondering. 

I near my one month anniversary in Haiti and I have some thoughts...

not complete thoughts. 

please feel free to add comments to these thoughts because I would like to know the answers to some. 

homeless. 

We came across this below family "squatting" on some land Child Hope is hoping to build upon. Very normal to "squat" in Haiti as there are many abandoned buildings. This family has the advantage of sleeping behind a steel gate to keep them safe at night as opposed to the million living in tent cities.  We came across these kids and I almost didn't think twice about this family that pitched a tent on our land. Didn't think twice! Why? Because there are 100,00 more like them right next door? 

If I walked into my Chelmsford residence and saw that a family of five has pitched a tent in my front yard... mother and father killed in earthquake and left five children. You can bet your bottom dollar I would invite those kids into my home, feed them a good meal, watch High School Musical and say, "Mom, can I keep them?" 

But do I not do the same here because I can't help them ALL? 

house fell on mother and father in quake- five children left.

their tent

I asked what the white "dust" was covering their bodies. I am told some form of fungus that could be cured by a few good showers. 

the inside of their tent

outside of tent

compassion. 

I moved to Haiti because God broke my heart for this nation. Yet, I can feel so distance from these people. I am sitting next to them, holding them and playing. But the difference of the situations we are in are vast- if I want to leave Haiti- all I have to do is make a phone call. If I break my leg and have to go to the hospital, guess what? The white girl will probably get pushed to the top of the waiting list. How do you encourage those when I can not relate? 

humbled. 

most days I walk out my gate and am instantly surrounded by children. Most of them sweet and lovely and wrap their arms around me. Some though- become aggressive. Not in a scary way- but annoying way. I hear, "Give me, Give me" and the tugging on the arm just becomes a little too rough. My patience wears thin and I disappear behind the gate again. frustrated. God humbles me every day here. frustrated with children who don't know any better? frustrated with desperation? I am humbled. 

 construction. 

I have not seen one construction vehicle. Not one! I will admit, I don't get out much. But, there is an obvious lack of ANY rebuilding. Ask the one million that are still homeless nine months after the quake. Blame the US government- yes, I get it. The money pledged by the US is still held up. Blame the Haitian government- yes, they are just useless and evil. But what about all the money we donated to NGO's? Did all that go to relief? I have asked many this question and I have yet to get an answer. Would love to hear more thoughts. 

I don't get out much. 

I really don't! This is probably music to my parents ears. No car. No public transportation (that I have the nerves to travel on). A casual walk to the market- doesn't tend to be casual. Cindy (the nanny to the 12 youngest boys- aka SAINT) has planned a "Girls Night Out" on Sunday and bought Brooke and I tickets to a concert. I can not contain my excitement. What should I wear?!? I'm actually going to shower for this event!